Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
