im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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