Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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