Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
