he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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