We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
