This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I stole a fireplace last night.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
