That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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