The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
