who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
