I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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