My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
