I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
