i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
