So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize