Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize