Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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