maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
