i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
