have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
