put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
