yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
