Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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