I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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