Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize