let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
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Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
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I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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