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• (512): View more from Texas

  Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.

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• (619): View more from California

  After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night

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• (760): View more from California

  Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?

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• (406): View more from Montana

  WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter

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• (714): View more from California

  I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...

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• (916): View more from California

  You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica

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