you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
