New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
