Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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