I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
