its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
