we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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