I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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