Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
