I wanna bring you to show and tell
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
