We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have post one night stand depression
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