I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
