I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My underwear smells like fireworks.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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