We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
