he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize