belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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