I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
