Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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