He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
