I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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