There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He told me they were just razor bumps!
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
