Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize