I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
