My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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