Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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