Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
