This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
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