You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
