Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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