Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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