It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
they need to just BURY HIM!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
