He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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