I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize