yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
