I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize