Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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