I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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